A little bit about me. I am originally from the South. Way South. I grew up in a very rural area and lived all the things that come along with that. So many of which were good and I think have served me well in life. As a kid, I was what some might call feral, free range, heck, maybe even neglected depending on who you ask. I kid (sort of) about that last part. During the daylight hours we could be just about anywhere, except inside. We had no shortage of "adventures" and had plenty of opportunities to test our boundaries or in many cases, blow right past them. At risk of sounding like an old man, I'll say it was a different time. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I say all of that to counter my next statement. There was a lot of racism. Honestly, as a kid it almost didn't stand out. The things people said and how they acted toward certain other groups was so common place that it didn't raise an eyebrow. Aside from that racism was evident everywhere you looked. Neighborhood, restaurants, certain places were known for being "for" one race or the other. No signs on the door, but it was understood.
Now I will say that not everyone was racist. Not outwardly anyway. Many were just passively accepting of how things were. Maybe offering a head nod in agreement rather than verbally expressing their racist opinions. Certainly plenty of people were not racist at all but I can say without a doubt that I never heard anyone follow a racial slur with a "hey, don't say that" or anything contradictory. I'm painting with a pretty broad brush here but mostly to make the case for just how saturated the South is with racism, no matter how overt or passive it may be/have been. This is where I grew up and where my family is from and continues to live. Many of them are among the nicest and most giving people I have ever met. This presents a really stark contradiction. One that many people have difficulty reconciling. This scenario where you find yourself giving your family much more leeway that you would ever give to an acquaintance, co-worker, or even friend. This is where I have been for quite some time.
To rewind a little, I also grew up in the same place that I just described. I don't now, nor have I ever considered myself to be racist. My friends, classmates, and teammates growing up were pretty varied as they are now. I'm sure that if I were to re-watch my life on film there would be plenty of moments I'm not proud of, but such is life I think. I do consider myself lucky in that I did leave that small town. I joined the Military at 18 and "saw the world". Mostly, I saw a handful of places around the country and deployed a few times. The location isn't really important. What is key, and one of the best aspects of the military, is that you will work side by side with people from all over the world and from every background you can imagine. I didn't go into the service with any hate in my heart for anyone but working alongside people from literally all walks of life will inoculate you from these narrow minded and hateful views that so many carry around with them. You are reminded that we are all much more alike than any notable difference. And whatever those differences are, they are not something that should ever take away from a person's right need to be treated fairly and equally. I have tried to live, act, and stand up for this in my life but one place where I have admittedly fallen short is with my family.
This brings us back to where we are now. Politics seems to be more divisive now that it has been in some time in the United States. It is hard to pin down the root of any one person's political beliefs. With identity politics being so prevalent, I don't know if many people can even express what or why they feel the way they do. It's mostly that they are against the other side. As we see now, and as history has demonstrated on more than one occasion, just giving someone a group or identity to hate/fear is enough. It means you don't have to have a coherent solution to the problem you made up. You don't have to show how you are going to improve lives. You only have to assert that the "other" group will make their lives worse. Rinse and repeat this with every topic that comes up and you have the shit storm we find ourselves in now.
As we look at the decisions people are making, who they are supporting, who they are voting for it is had to see where there is space to disagree reasonably. The picture being painted by the opposing sides seems so vastly disparate that what was once a Venn diagram is now a few circles that don't come close to overlapping. If there is anything connecting the left to the right it is the apathy of those who don't even participate in the process.
In my own life, as I look at those who support someone who is so hateful, criminal, and downright vile I have had to ask myself what it means to allow these people to remain in my life. What would I have to do or rather not do, in order to maintain these relationships. The answer takes me back to growing up in the South. You just have to stand by and let them be who they are and not interject. Don't stand up for anyone. Don't push back. If you can do those things then you may be able to have a good Thanksgiving or Christmas.
I say, Fuck that.. No one deserves a free pass when they are actively engaging in hate, discrimination, and aggressively working toward taking away rights and physical safety from others. It is this security blanket of silence and complicity that allows these people to live in comfort. To walk around feeling as if their opinions are the majority and they they are somehow victims.
It is inconvenient, hurtful, and some days depressing, but I have had to finally put action behind my words and cut people off. Some days it feels like an over reaction on my part, but that feeling quickly goes away after reading another article where their political hero is working to dismantle institutions, hurt the most vulnerable among us, and defraud us all. When I think of the damage they will do, the rights they will erase, and the years (if ever) that it will take to recover, somehow not talking to a few people who rarely call and never visit doesn't sound like much of an over reaction. Cut them off, hold them accountable, don't be silent. Thanks for listening to my rant.
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